Tuesday 7th April – Day One: Surviving The-Virus

Well, I endured day one of ‘The-Infestation’.

As it turns out, the behavioural attributes required for battling ‘The-Infestation’ are the very same skill set I’ve been honing for like, years.

Lying around and dozing.

Check.

Passive-aggressive manipulation of my daughter in order to guilt her into making me curly fries.

Check. Check.

Hollering at same daughter to “leave the food and get the hell away from my door”.

Check, check, checkity-check.

I am smashing it.

On a more serious note however, I do feel I should do my bit to offset some of the incessant death-toll-taking that is headlining every news broadcast, which is why I’ve dragged myself away from reruns of ‘Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit’ to pen this missive.

You’re welcome.

I do feel really, really tired. 

And I do have a dry cough.

But it’s not persistent in the sense that I’m coughing all the time, rather I cough now and then which I don’t normally do so I do know it’s not normal. But it isn’t what I expected from the official symptom list that’s doing the rounds.

My throat is sore.

I’ve got aches.

I have a fever and my eyes still hurt.

But here’s the thing I’ve noticed.

The symptoms are elusive.

And squirrelly.

They come and go. And not altogether, all at the same time. One minute I feel like a building has fallen on me in terms of exhaustion and I’m coughing. Next minute, my throat is so bad I can’t swallow and I’m aching. The fever is pretty constant although, even that is up and down to some extent.

Honestly, it really does feel like flu.

Well, weird Ninja-Flu that’s possibly taken a hit out on you.

But I have to keep in mind that there’s way more people getting over The-Virus than there are ending up in hospital.

We all have to keep that in mind.

The worst case scenario is not the only scenario.

Regarding The-Tenant I mentioned yesterday, well he is now an ex-tenant.

He civic-mindedly decided that he just couldn’t miss out on all the lovely-jubbly overtime that the supermarket in question is offering right now, so he took all his belongings and headed off to move in with his seventy-year-old parents.

So not only greedy and irresponsible in terms of his work colleagues and the food he is preparing for the nation, but also without conscience vis a vis his elderly parents.

Total bellend.

I have reached out to the supermarket in question, so hopefully, they’ve dealt with his sorry arse.

But this repulsive demonstration does highlight a bit of a concern.

The majority of essential workers fighting on the frontline right now, whether the tools of that frontline be a bucket and mop, a supermarket till or a delivery van, are acting with bravery and selflessness but, hidden in amongst them are, apparently, folks like my ex-tenant.

Greedy for the money, dismissive of the gravity of the situation and heedless in terms of the many people they are potentially infecting.

And, whilst many of us will recover, we know that a percentage are vulnerable and will not.

My ex-tenant and his bredren are out there working.

They’re out sunbathing in the parks.

And they’re out barbecuing on the beach.

But whilst they get fat paychecks, a tan and some chargrilled munch.

Someone else is going to get a headstone.