Monday 30th March – It’s okay to have a melt down.

If I sounded aggravated yesterday.

Well, it’s because I was.

And I suppose, in reality, frustration is going to be the biggest challenge to us all during this imprisonment. I know, I know, we can jazz it up, make it feel like something we are all choosing to do but the truth is, we’re in prison.

It’s all very well baking cakes and posting Facebook pictures of the fun we’re having in the garden but the unwelcome reality is, this is going to hit us all hard. 

At some point, we are all going to come completely unhinged.

Not because we aren’t capable of entertaining ourselves, not because we hate our family or indeed our own company but because we are accustomed to exercising agency over our own lives.

And by that I mean stuff like being able to make the decision to have a Big Mac when we want one.

The only way I can conceive of getting through to the other side is by focusing, not on the current picture, but on the end goal and for me, the relentless negativity on the TV is making that impossible.

I’d like to simply lay the blame at the door of the media and have done with it but actually, it isn’t just them.

The worst offender is the Government.

They told us there was a bug going round that, whilst massively contagious, only had a mortality rate of 3%.

Okay, not ideal, but some good news there. Means I’ve got more chance of winning the lottery today than dying today.

I’ll take those odds any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Then they said we should keep two metres away from people with whom we do not live.

Okey dokey.

On it.

Then they said we should stay inside for about three months and not come out for anything other than absolutely necessary stuff. 

Food, medicine, exercise and whatnot.

Again, not loving that prospect but fair play.

Check. Check. Check.

So we’re all doing what we were asked, well, not all, twats will be twats and all that, but the majority of us.

The scientists and medical experts got their white-board out, they round-tabled the situation and they decided on the best way to defeat The-Virus.

We listened.

And in return, what are they doing for us?

Running repeated adverts on television reminding us to stay two metres apart because there’s a bug going round.


Giving us daily death and infection figures.

Projecting increasingly worse end date and mortality figures.

Originally a thousand were set to die, now we’ll be lucky if it’s less than twenty-thousand.

Originally we’d be imprisoned for three months, now six.

How can it be getting worse? We’re doing what you asked of us (well not the twats but I’ve already covered that).

And if it is getting worse? What’s the good of telling us about it?

There’s nothing more we can do, other, of course, than saving The-Virus a job and hanging ourselves in advance of its possible arrival?

Do you understand the effect this will have on the mental health of many of your audience?

So, in future I would like to start hearing about the wins.

About the people who have recovered just fine.

Start giving us those figures.

Because, from where I’m standing, it’s starting to look like the Government’s goal here is not to defeat The-Virus, but rather to instill and keep instilling absolute terror into everyone.

And that, I’m sure, can’t be the case.

Because that would make them monsters.