Tonight I’m having a bit of a par-tay.
Well, when I say party, I’m using the term loosely because when I ecstatically crashed through the door at five-twenty-five loaded down with balloons, streamers, ‘pretend-they’re-out-but-they’re-not-candles’, a cake and a genuine bottle of Asti Spumante my guest-list claimed it had made other plans.
Annabelle suddenly remembered she’d agreed to go and do maths homework with a friend from school, I didn’t quite catch who it was she was off to study algebra with on a Friday night, but it sounded very much like she’d said ‘Someoneanyone’ to me.
As the door slammed behind her, I cheerfully turned to face the Teenager who was loitering at the bottom of the stairs in his pyjama bottoms, looking nervous.
Two and a half minutes later, as I unpacked my wares I heard the back gate slam.
Cross the Teenager off the list.
I shall, on that basis, have to celebrate the ‘Good Luck in Your New Home David & Sam’ party on my own (well, the dog’s here but he keeps wetting himself every time I let off a Party-Popper so I’ve had to lock him in the kitchen).
The shambles that the Conservatives have made of running things in the last couple of years just beggars belief and, whilst you could be forgiven for thinking that sleaze, back-handers and dodgy-dealings were merely a ‘blip’ during the 1979/1997 Tory-fying-dream-sequence, it is brutally apparent now that hiding all the good stuff (so they can play with it by themselves ) is actually deeply embedded in their manifesto.
To be fair it is embedded pretty deeply and since (unlike Dave and Nick) few of us did ‘The Deciphering of Masonic Codes’ at our version of Waterloo Road, I suppose that, on this occasion, the electorate can be forgiven for handing the reins of power to a pair of (how did Nadine Dories put it?) ‘arrogant posh boys’ whose time would have been better spent playing Bridge, Polo or Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Donkey or something.
I personally am completely delighted (Did I mention that I’m wearing a red paper party hat?).
With any luck at all, the ignorance that Messrs. Cameron and Clegg have cheerfully demonstrated up until now will survive the indignity of this resounding loss intact.
Hopefully they will continue to piss the entire country off on a daily basis.
That way, come the next election there can only be one result.