I just heard some terrible news on the news.
Boris Johnson, Nick Clegg and Theresa May have had to cut their foreign holidays short.
Something to do with financial and social meltdown. Riots in Tottenham, Hackney, Peckham and Lewisham, 10% of the value of the FTSE being wiped out in the last week (and in turn our pension plans) and rural crime up by 17%.
What a difference a week makes.
Theresa, Nick and Boris must be frothing, I mean, how would you feel? You’ve stuck your little stars on the office wall-planner, you’ve bought your holiday-books, your iPod is fully loaded and you’ve shelled out for a bag-full of Boots mini’s?
No sooner have you hauled your milk-white-tushi onto a pool adjacent sun lounger, having taken great delight in re-living VE Day by getting your new Primark beach towel down first, (ha-ha, take that Deutschland) than you start getting frantic texts from the babysitter telling you that it’s all gone tits up and the kids have gone bat-shit again.
David Cameron and George Osborne are obviously made of sterner stuff than Theresa, Nick and Boris. There’s no fooling them. Attention seeking, tantrum style behaviour on the part of their legal charges (citizens, whatever) is not going to convince them to put down their Dell-Boy style, umbrella laden, ‘Sex-On-The-Beach’ drinky-poos and return home.
Not till their 10pm curfew anyway, they’ve paid for childcare and they are gonna make the most of it.
They’ve read the parenting books and are obviously sticking with what exhausted Mums and Dads the world over call ‘Plan B,’ otherwise known as the ‘switch-the-phone-off-they’ll-settle-down-when-they’ve-had-some-supper’ manoeuvre.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Theresa, in a press conference is loudly declaring that ‘Thuggery’ will not be tolerated.
The ‘Yoof’ of Britain obviously aren’t watching the news since, from where I’m standing; ‘Riotous-Thuggery’ seems to be the ‘New-Black.’
In terms of poverty, disarray and outright bloody anarchy, we appear to be re-entering the mid 80’s.
Remind me, who was in Government back then?