Tuesday 27th April

In what I suspect to be an act of retribution, I was volunteered (by guess who!) to cover an absence on reception today. 

I did explain that I had never operated a switchboard before but my protestations fell on deaf ears. Members of staff from every corner of the building were cheerfully remarking, as they passed the desk, on how quiet the phones were. 

Little did they know that the peaceful hiatus was because the majority of callers had either been cut off, or were trapped permanently somewhere in the system from where, try as I might, I could not retrieve them. 

I was disappointed to note that the few determined people, who, by virtue of their tenacity and persistence, I did eventually manage to connect successfully, seemed quite shirty with me. One lady threatened to make a formal complaint if she was placed on bloody hold again. 

I have to be realistic, my Employee of the Year Award is looking less and less likely with every passing day. The way things are going, I think that I would be a more useful and productive member of staff if I called in sick. 

Decided to take the dog for a walk when I got home. As I got his lead out of the drawer, I hoped that he would, for once, behave himself. 

Dog didn’t behave himself. 

When I finally caught up with him he was bouncing cheerfully around with a football in his mouth. 

The two football teams that had been using the ball for their match were chasing him and waving their arms around which only served to provoke Hector into ever increasing circles. Fortunately they had come prepared with a spare as the deflated, chewed, shrivelled object that I finally managed to wrestle out of the dogs mouth was not received back with a great deal of enthusiasm. 

Now recall why I usually get the Teenager to walk the dog. Must remember to increase his allowance slash danger money accordingly.