Monday 19th April

I started my new job today; I am now a part time administrator for a private hospital. 

I found out a week ago that I had the job and they asked me to wait until today to start, they needed a week to make sure that my computer and desk were all set up. 

Arrived this morning to find that my desk and computer hadn’t been set up. 

The office manager took me on a tour of the building which involved me making thrilled noises when presented with such delights as the ladies loo and the kitchen. A long explanation then ensued concerning the company ‘elf and safety’ rules on use of the microwave, fridge and kettle. I did a great deal of nodding and smiling and made pertinent comments like: ‘That makes sense’ and ‘Gosh, really’ and my personal favourite ‘Can I really just help myself to milk?’

I was then treated to a meet and greet of the key personnel that I would be dealing with. As my role primarily involves filing invoices, I was a little bemused when Tina (or Tedious Tina as I have taken to calling her) burst into an operating theatre and introduced me to a cardiothoracic surgeon who, to a layman, looked as though he were mid procedure. 

A bit of a kerfuffle developed which resulted in Tedious Tina grabbing my arm and hastily backing out of the room. Fortunately the sound of a passing porter sans hoover drowned out the outraged invectives coming from Theatre 3. 

I was just preparing to leave at 2pm when the door to our office flew open behind me. Tedious Tina’s monotonous diatribe about her allergies came to a halt and the colour drained entirely from her face. Apparently this was Mr Woods, the cardiothoracic surgeon from earlier. 

He glared at Tedious Tina and then extended his hand to me. ‘I do apologise for my behaviour earlier, I wasn’t expecting visitors’. I cannot remember for the life of me what I said but I am pretty sure I went bright red and I know for a fact that I giggled. 

Drove home praying to all my God’s that there isn’t a Mrs Woods.

Who am I kidding, there is always a Mrs Woods.