Seem to be the only person in the UK who didn’t watch the Three Stooges last night and have spent all day feeling obliged to come up with meaningful, intelligent and thoughtful justifications for why I opted to boycott it ‘on principal’.
The truth, however, is that I suspected (and judging from the tedious blow-by-blow reviews that I have been subjected to today) was correct in my assumption, that it would simply be mind numbingly dull.
The teenager and I watched Welcome to Lagos which did exactly what it said on the tin (well, the advert) and was possibly, the funniest piece of television that I have seen in years. I can’t be sure if the documentary was intended to slot into the comedy genre but it did, with aplomb.
Around lunchtime my doorbell rang and on the doorstep stood a shiny, happy, pretty young girl who claimed, for reasons best known to herself, that she wanted to converse with the teenager. Undaunted by my protestations to the contrary she politely but firmly insisted that, yes, the teenager was what she was after getting.
Knocked on the teenager’s door and receiving no reply, cautiously opened the door. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the eerie gloom but before you could say ‘what’s that smell’, I was indeed able to distinguish a compost heap shaped lump in the area of the room that I dimly recall putting his bed. Unable to pick out a clear path across the floor, I tried calling his name, no response.
Defeated, I withdrew and in my very best he-is-sssooo-going-to-be-a-doctor-one-day voice explained to the shiny, happy, pretty girl that he was at a critical point in his studies and that he really couldn’t be disturbed. Nodding wisely she asked that he text her if he needed a study break and turned to leave.
The teenager chose that moment to slouch up the path with a packet of Hula Hoops and a can of Dr Pepper in his hand. Opened and shut my mouth a few times but could only manage to summon up ‘Okay then, I’ll leave you to it’.
The shiny girl’s look of reproach told me that she wouldn’t be supporting me in my plans to adopt her any time soon.